My secret resolution to post something every day in February has not gone so well. My friend Jen, on the other hand, has been much more consistent in following through on our pact to post regularly. Although she hasn’t been so, this entitles her to be smug and me to harbor the believe that there is nowhere for me to go but up in March. These days my life pretty much feels that way. Like recovering from an injury, being unemployed really messes with you. I am doing both. One day I am upbeat and wildly optimistic about finally being able to create the life I want, the next day I am fretful, depressed and ready to wave my white flag and give in. Sometimes it feels like I will forever be in this limbo between jobs and a properly working left arm. My rotator cuff stubbornly refuses to work properly in a certain direction and sometimes it seems like I will never find a job I like. It can leave a person feeling really lost and doubtful of things like happiness and stability being compatible.

Most of the time, though, I believe that things will improve, because they have to and that I have been given an opportunity to work on some things I would never have had time to working 60 hours a week. Among the things I’ve been working on are reading, starting a study/discussion group for followers of earth based spiritualities, taking some self-paced courses, figuring out what I want to be doing long-term, looking for jobs, getting an NCRC certificate (I had to for an unemployment program), going to a lot of physical therapy and acupuncture appointments for my arm, and with a naturopath on some other health issues. She had a bunch of blood tests done. It turns out that I am anemic, severely vitamin D deficient, and have some other issues that are just on the low end of abnormal and should be easily controllable through diet. It explains a lot about why I get so pale and tired sometimes. So, I’ve started on an anti-inflammatory diet, castor oil packs and some supplements.

This morning I had my first meal on the diet (organic eggs, spinach, turkey bacon, some fruit and a cup of hawthorn tea). So far, it does not seem like an unpleasant endeavor. The grocery bill at New Seasons seemed a little high, but in reality, it’s not really more expensive than eating out, which we too much anyway. With some tweaking (getting what I can at Trader Joe’s first, then filling in the other stuff from New Seasons), I think it will be manageable. I’ve started so many diets that it’s hard not to fall into the trap of thinking it’s only a matter of time until this one falls apart, but I don’t feel that way. I know, impressive endurance here after 2 hours! I should write a diet book! I’ll add that to my list of things to do while I’m off!

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