Last week when I went to weigh in, I discovered that the battery in my scale needed to be replaced. I learned this after stepping on the scale to find that I had not lost any weight. Despite having been a bit half-assed (though sadly not literally!) about actually dieting, I was chagrined. So, I did the only sensible thing and tried again, hoping I’d lost a couple pounds since the last time I was on it a minute ago. That’s how dieting works, right? If you keep getting on and off the scale, you can nudge it down. No?
As it turned out, I lost seven pounds! (Then gained three, then lost one, then gained four.) At some point, I had to accept it was time to replace the battery. It happens. It’s not the end of the world, right? Well, it wasn’t until I came home from the store only to discover that I weighed five pounds more than my last pre-battery meltdown official weigh in. Talk about frustrating. I certainly didn’t want to put that I have GAINED weight since I started. It was enough to make me start feeling like a big loser and throw me off track for a couple days.
But then I started thinking about how determined I was when I started and about some of the improvements I’ve made. I am starting to see results in places that are not the scale. My skin (which has never really been a problem) is looking better from all the water and healthy fruits and vegetables. More importantly, the better nutrition has me feeling less sluggish and the addition of hibiscus flower tea to my beverage rotation seems to be starting to help my blood pressure. Sure, it sucks that the scale number was a little higher than I wanted it to be, but numbers are not the only measurement of progress.
My resolve was strengthened by a post a friend from my Fit Club group shared with us from A Beautiful Mess Inside. It said “Being hard is not the same thing as being persistent or determined. Being too hard on yourself is the same thing as being cruel. You do not, never have and never will deserve cruelty.” It was one of those nice moments of synchronicity when a message comes just on the day when you most need it.
And, as I keep having to tell myself, this is a journey and I have to be realistic that it’s more of a cross-country hike than a walk around the corner. And that’s actually a good thing, because it will give me time to develop habits.
So, wish me luck with my weigh in tomorrow!