Tonight I went to a seminar on motivation, which dovetailed nicely with the book I’ve been reading – Women Food and God, which so far is not really so much about some bearded, Zeusian image of God pointing down from the heavens while bellowing “Thou shalt not covet the krispy kreme!” as it is about how our beliefs about being alive affect our beliefs about eating and food.
If I am honest, I’ve been in need of motivation these past few days. After a little over a week of fairly effortless dieting, I’ve really been struggling. My doctor already told me that if I get to the point that I want an appetite suppressant that it is one of the “tools in our box”, but I don’t want to meet my first challenge with a drug. It feels somehow important to me that I be able to control myself. I gave this a lot of thought while I was cheating on a small cheeseburger and portabello mushroom spears at Burgerville after class tonight. Hey, don’t judge me. At least I got the kid’s meal size and not the giant one.
Of course, as soon as I was done, I regretted it. Two hours later, my stomach still feels uncomfortable. I wish I could bottle this feeling and remember it the next time I am tempted to cheat. If nothing else, I have learned that the momentary indulgence didn’t really make me feel any better in the long run.
The good news is that after deciding to just move on and not beat myself up over my lapse, I spent some time watching a documentary called My Big, Fat Diet, which chronicles a study done in Canada wherein members of the Namgis First Nation in the town of Alert Bay gave up sugar and carbohydrates for a year in favor of returning to a more traditional indigenous diet. The result? The 60-70 individuals who stuck with the study not only lost a whopping, combined 1200 pounds, but some were able to go off of medications for blood pressure and diabetes. A pretty fascinating look at how our Western sugar and carbohydrate laden diet is doing more harm than good. They reminded me of all the reasons why I started this in the first place.
Suddenly, I am again feeling motivated!